Last year I spent the month of January contemplating the previous year and trying to define goals for myself in 2012. After a lot of thought I came up with three goals. For the first time in a long time, those goals helped me.
I made significant progress with my health with 6 months of physical therapy and tracking my food intake. My health is still a work in progress, but I've improved so much this year. While I didn't finish the 29 Day Org Challenge and my office is still a bit of a disaster, Ray and I removed a couple van loads of clothing and furniture from our house. We held out first yard sale ever and donated everything that didn't sell. While this went a long way towards simplifying the main rooms of our house, my craftiness has remained out of control. On the flip side, I have spent quality time decluttering my work space at home and simplifying demands on my time.
All in all, I'm glad I defined my goals. They helped. And I feel good looking back on them. That said, I'm performing a bit of self-reflection again this year. The list that never got completed but prompted me on this reflection of goal setting can be found over at SimpleMom.net - 20 Questions for Reflecting on your 2012. Let's see where these lead me this year.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Friday, November 2, 2012
Growing up
Last year passed and I never managed to write you a letter. You were still so small and I didn't know you all that well yet. I couldn't figure out what to say. What I wanted to you know about this time in your life. Or about this time in mine.
We've both grown up a lot this year. Being in my 30s when you were born implies that I'd already done my growing up, but you'll come to learn that growing up can happen any time, any place. It can take you by surprise. Until you came along, I'm not sure I knew I had more growing up to do.
Bringing you into this world involved a leap of faith for me. Faith in myself I didn't have before. I took control of my health and owned it for the first time in my life. Since then I've continued to grow stronger and more confident. As I watch you explore the world, I push harder to keep up, to be ready. Someday you are going to venture beyond my reach, but I want to support you with years of adventures before that day comes.
Singing and dancing occupy a large portion of your day. Even before you learned to shape the words, you would babble along in tune to whatever you heard. And now that the words come more easily, I'm often serenaded by Twinkle Twinkle or Frere Jacques. Music seems to light you up and it's a joy to see.
You are also cuddle monster, giving amazing hugs with your whole body. I love being greeted at pickup time by a smiling little girl, arms wide welcoming me home from work. Then you wrap me up, head on my shoulder, hands patting my shoulders. The whole world slides away and I'm left feeling content and cherished. I pray you feel that same love pouring out of me.
This year you've taken the Lego obsession in our house and made it your own. Where we once built houses, you are making castles. You build block towers as high as you can reach and then go to find a stool to you can make it even higher. Once your masterpiece is complete, I love to hear your giggles as you tear it all down to start again another day. When you're not building towers, you're taking care of your babies. Feeding them, putting them to sleep, taking them on adventures around the living room. It's seldom you aren't seen with a friend long for the fun.
While you are tucking in your dolls and building towers, I'm watching - hoping to learn and nurture what excites you in this world. You mimic so closely everything your big sister does, I struggle to remember that you are your own person who has a unique future in front of you. Please keep reminding me of that as you grow. Don't ever let me send you down a path simply because your sister's feet carried her that way.
The coming year will bring many challenges, but I hope with you I can remember that every challenge is one more adventure we get to have together. I plan to continue growing as I know that you will. I love where we've been together so far. Thank you for taking me along for the ride.
Love, Mommy
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sandy's Gift
I haven't been at work for 4 days. Torrential rains. Flooding. Falling trees. Power outages. Hurricane Sandy walloped the East coast.
Thankfully I watched most of it on TV from the warm comfort of my living room. I can't say I've ever been so grateful to have a storm rage around me and leave me nothing more than a little wet.
With Ray taking over the menu prep, my load has lightened. Versus feeling a weight grow day after day on my shoulders, I started making progress. The road was long, but I felt I could walk it again. That hopefulness was something I hadn't felt in a long time. What a beautiful feeling!
As Sandy closed down the East Coast for the past two days, I relaxed. Work allowed employees to take off time to made up over the next few months - no precious leave needed. A windfall of time fed the hopefulness and the result was gloriously relaxing.
For the first time in months, I had unplanned time. Time to use however I saw fit. Time to gain a foothold in the chaos. All the things I could plan to do...
The first of which was to sleep in Monday morning. I slept. And slept. And slept. Until 8:30 am!!! Many might think this a insignificant feat. But those people are not the parents of toddler morning birds. I was so happy to sleep.
Upon waking Monday morning, I considered listing all the things I wanted to get done. I could build a nice long list and check things off one by one. It would be so satisfying. But that isn't what I did. I didn't plan at all. I just lived in my space. As a task popped up, I worked on it. Or I didn't. I dedicated myself to no task taking more than an hour. ROWE - Results Only Work Environment. I could have to go back to my real job at any moment. All that mattered was the state I left behind. Start nothing that can't be completed.
My first urge was to prepare for the hurricane. A little shopping. Extra water in the fridge. Candles out. Matches located. Laundry dried. Portable electronics charged. Bigger electronics shutdown. Children bathed. Sweaters donned.
Feeling as in control of my fate as I could in the middle of a hurricane I began to search my house for the other items which were bothering me.
Boxes of recently acquired hand-me-downs - organized into sortable stacks.
My girls' puzzles and board games - organized onto a repurposed shleving unit in the closet.
Piles of thoroughly loved bath toys - sorted and separated into keep and toss.
Stack of dropped items inside the kitchen door - escorted to their respective homes.
Mountain of craft supplies supporting past projects - organized back into the craft boxes.
Monday became Tuesday and I kept gliding through the house. Puttering. Finding an object out of place, returning it to its home. We moved some furniture. Divested of more unsold items from our yard sale. Planned to ridding our house of more things kept past their usefulness.
Tomorrow I return to work. I can't say that I'm done, but I don't ever really want to be done. I just want to feel at peace in my own space. For the first time in quite a long time, I think I've achieved that. Now I just have to work on keeping the peace. :)
Thankfully I watched most of it on TV from the warm comfort of my living room. I can't say I've ever been so grateful to have a storm rage around me and leave me nothing more than a little wet.
With Ray taking over the menu prep, my load has lightened. Versus feeling a weight grow day after day on my shoulders, I started making progress. The road was long, but I felt I could walk it again. That hopefulness was something I hadn't felt in a long time. What a beautiful feeling!
As Sandy closed down the East Coast for the past two days, I relaxed. Work allowed employees to take off time to made up over the next few months - no precious leave needed. A windfall of time fed the hopefulness and the result was gloriously relaxing.
For the first time in months, I had unplanned time. Time to use however I saw fit. Time to gain a foothold in the chaos. All the things I could plan to do...
The first of which was to sleep in Monday morning. I slept. And slept. And slept. Until 8:30 am!!! Many might think this a insignificant feat. But those people are not the parents of toddler morning birds. I was so happy to sleep.
Upon waking Monday morning, I considered listing all the things I wanted to get done. I could build a nice long list and check things off one by one. It would be so satisfying. But that isn't what I did. I didn't plan at all. I just lived in my space. As a task popped up, I worked on it. Or I didn't. I dedicated myself to no task taking more than an hour. ROWE - Results Only Work Environment. I could have to go back to my real job at any moment. All that mattered was the state I left behind. Start nothing that can't be completed.
My first urge was to prepare for the hurricane. A little shopping. Extra water in the fridge. Candles out. Matches located. Laundry dried. Portable electronics charged. Bigger electronics shutdown. Children bathed. Sweaters donned.
Feeling as in control of my fate as I could in the middle of a hurricane I began to search my house for the other items which were bothering me.
Boxes of recently acquired hand-me-downs - organized into sortable stacks.
My girls' puzzles and board games - organized onto a repurposed shleving unit in the closet.
Piles of thoroughly loved bath toys - sorted and separated into keep and toss.
Stack of dropped items inside the kitchen door - escorted to their respective homes.
Mountain of craft supplies supporting past projects - organized back into the craft boxes.
Monday became Tuesday and I kept gliding through the house. Puttering. Finding an object out of place, returning it to its home. We moved some furniture. Divested of more unsold items from our yard sale. Planned to ridding our house of more things kept past their usefulness.
Tomorrow I return to work. I can't say that I'm done, but I don't ever really want to be done. I just want to feel at peace in my own space. For the first time in quite a long time, I think I've achieved that. Now I just have to work on keeping the peace. :)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
When something's got to give
This fall has been full of lessons for me. Lessons about maintaining my health. Lessons on making time for relaxation. Lessons concerning how fast my children are growing. The latest lesson I have yet to conquer is how to recognize, and subsequently respect, my own limits.
But I'm trying.
My baby sister got married this weekend. The day after her wedding Bean turned 4. Two weeks from now MY baby Inchie turns 2. Given the craziness of the month, I combined their birthday celebrations into one happy party. I took that as proof that I was finally getting the hang of not overextending myself. Maybe I was learning my lesson.
Regrettably one less party didn't seem to lessen the load. At we entered into wedding weekend, I felt out of control. Work had been accomplished that week through force of will. There was nothing organic or sustaining about the energy used. I have a plaque in my office which reads "You will because you can." It's meant to be empowering I think, but I've started reading it as a warning. I can do a lot of things but maybe I shouldn't do them all at once.
I wasn't keeping up. My head was full of unfinished tasks. So I made a list. Better out than in.
I still wasn't accounting for all the things I need to do on a weekly basis. They weren't on the list. And I grew more and more discouraged and frustrated. My head filled back up again and I pretty much threw in the towel. I selected our clothes for the weekend from the dirty piles in my laundry room and washed them all at once. They came out of the dryer, into the suitcase and we departed for the wedding. I do not like living that way. Whatever feeling exists beyond overwhelmed is where I was at. And it started to show.
After numerous heated exchanges, I finally got to the heart of the matter with my husband. I needed to divest of something. Ignoring the list to start with we decided that my primary household responsibilities were Finances, Scheduling, Food and Clothing. My husband took care of Dishes, Trash, House Upkeep and Yard Work.
Strangely enough, my husband was extremely hesitant to take over any of my responsibilities. My trend is to control everything to meet my expectations. It keeps life stable. It also keeps me very very busy; I'm learning - too busy. Trying to take a task from me is possibly like trying to cook a nice meal for a gourmet chef. It's just not fair.
But it was necessary. As of this week, Food is no longer mainly my responsibility. I still cook dinner in the evening because I'm the first one home. My husband is in charge of menu planning, grocery shopping, packing lunches and nightly dinner prep. I cook what he tells me to cook and make requests.
I haven't driven him to quit yet. I hope I don't. When we finally agreed on what our new delineation of duties was I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. When I turned the cleaning of my house over to professionals, it took me about 3 months to stop being stressed about it. Hopefully I learned my lessons during that divesting.
We are three days in.
But I'm trying.
My baby sister got married this weekend. The day after her wedding Bean turned 4. Two weeks from now MY baby Inchie turns 2. Given the craziness of the month, I combined their birthday celebrations into one happy party. I took that as proof that I was finally getting the hang of not overextending myself. Maybe I was learning my lesson.
Regrettably one less party didn't seem to lessen the load. At we entered into wedding weekend, I felt out of control. Work had been accomplished that week through force of will. There was nothing organic or sustaining about the energy used. I have a plaque in my office which reads "You will because you can." It's meant to be empowering I think, but I've started reading it as a warning. I can do a lot of things but maybe I shouldn't do them all at once.
I wasn't keeping up. My head was full of unfinished tasks. So I made a list. Better out than in.
- Make Dinner
- Set tomorrow's clothes
- Pack Lunches
- Pack Snack (M,W)
- Prep Dinner for tomorrow
- Fold laundry and Put away clean clothes
- Gather up dirty clothes and Swap loads
- Sort mail
- Wipe off table
- Pick up living room
- Pack gym bag for the morning
I still wasn't accounting for all the things I need to do on a weekly basis. They weren't on the list. And I grew more and more discouraged and frustrated. My head filled back up again and I pretty much threw in the towel. I selected our clothes for the weekend from the dirty piles in my laundry room and washed them all at once. They came out of the dryer, into the suitcase and we departed for the wedding. I do not like living that way. Whatever feeling exists beyond overwhelmed is where I was at. And it started to show.
After numerous heated exchanges, I finally got to the heart of the matter with my husband. I needed to divest of something. Ignoring the list to start with we decided that my primary household responsibilities were Finances, Scheduling, Food and Clothing. My husband took care of Dishes, Trash, House Upkeep and Yard Work.
Strangely enough, my husband was extremely hesitant to take over any of my responsibilities. My trend is to control everything to meet my expectations. It keeps life stable. It also keeps me very very busy; I'm learning - too busy. Trying to take a task from me is possibly like trying to cook a nice meal for a gourmet chef. It's just not fair.
But it was necessary. As of this week, Food is no longer mainly my responsibility. I still cook dinner in the evening because I'm the first one home. My husband is in charge of menu planning, grocery shopping, packing lunches and nightly dinner prep. I cook what he tells me to cook and make requests.
I haven't driven him to quit yet. I hope I don't. When we finally agreed on what our new delineation of duties was I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. When I turned the cleaning of my house over to professionals, it took me about 3 months to stop being stressed about it. Hopefully I learned my lessons during that divesting.
We are three days in.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Foodie Pen Pals: Tasty Treats
Today is Foodie Pen Pal Reveal Day!!!
Second month in and I love this program. That said, this will be the last month I participate for a while, but more on that later.
This month, my name was selected by Lori. She sent me a lovely box arriving just as expected. Here's my box. It was covered in pretty pink tissue with a very pretty card welcoming me to my box of goodies.
Inside I found two blueberry donuts, a jar of blueberry jam, whiskey stix, quinoa pasta, and dried kiwi. I'm still working my way through the whiskey stix (swet and salty - my favorite!) and dried kiwi. The blueberry jam and pasta have yet to be utilized, but I'm looking forward to both of them. Yummy things I haven't tried before.
The donuts on the other hand didn't make it more than 2 minutes in my house. Everyone had a little and they were sooo good! I loved them! There was a bit of gooiness, but they were quite tasty and everyone loved them.
Another month and another awesome Foodie Pen Pal box. If you are considering joining in, please don't hesitate. It's so much fun to get a surprise in the mail!
As for me, I'm out for the rest of the year. If I love it so much why am I backing out? Well, September is our vacation month being I might not be here to receive my box. October, we have a wedding and birthdays. And you know what happens in November and December. Given my time constraints I want to be sure the other penpals get someone who can definitely deliver. I'm not so sure that I'll be able to.
But thank you Lindsey. I've loved participating in this program. And hopefully I'll be able to join in again in the new year!
Second month in and I love this program. That said, this will be the last month I participate for a while, but more on that later.
This month, my name was selected by Lori. She sent me a lovely box arriving just as expected. Here's my box. It was covered in pretty pink tissue with a very pretty card welcoming me to my box of goodies.
Inside I found two blueberry donuts, a jar of blueberry jam, whiskey stix, quinoa pasta, and dried kiwi. I'm still working my way through the whiskey stix (swet and salty - my favorite!) and dried kiwi. The blueberry jam and pasta have yet to be utilized, but I'm looking forward to both of them. Yummy things I haven't tried before.
The donuts on the other hand didn't make it more than 2 minutes in my house. Everyone had a little and they were sooo good! I loved them! There was a bit of gooiness, but they were quite tasty and everyone loved them.
Another month and another awesome Foodie Pen Pal box. If you are considering joining in, please don't hesitate. It's so much fun to get a surprise in the mail!
As for me, I'm out for the rest of the year. If I love it so much why am I backing out? Well, September is our vacation month being I might not be here to receive my box. October, we have a wedding and birthdays. And you know what happens in November and December. Given my time constraints I want to be sure the other penpals get someone who can definitely deliver. I'm not so sure that I'll be able to.
But thank you Lindsey. I've loved participating in this program. And hopefully I'll be able to join in again in the new year!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Foodie Pen Pals: Inauguration
Today is Foodie Pen Pal Reveal Day!!!
This month marked my first in the Foodie Pen Pals. Upon finding The Lean Green Bean about two months ago, I've been visiting daily to catch inspiring exercises and creative recipes. It's a new love. One of the programs she runs is Foodie Pen Pals where you are paired with another foodie to share local, ethnic, homemade or simply awesome food items.
Given that I'm always game to try new foods, I signed up for this program the first day I heard about it. I was so excited to come up with a box, but also to see what my partner could come up with for me! Shortly after the matches were revealed, Mac over at Wealth is Health emailed me to get my information and I eagerly awaited my first package.
As it turns out I didn't have long to wait. Arriving home after mailing off my pen pal's package, there was a box waiting on my door step. Here in MD over the past month our temperatures have been nuclear, so I immediately whisked it inside and hoped for the best. I think I waited all of 15 seconds to open the box. I debated waiting. The anticipation was too great. Here's what I found:
My initial fears were confirmed. The contents were HOT! Thankfully, the only thing heat sensitive was the Yogurt Almonds and 30 minutes in the fridge righted that situation. Even melty they were delicious. My other goodies in consumptions order Chike Iced Coffee, Larabar Uber Cherry Cobbler, Good N Natural Chocolate and Beanut Butter Bars and the June 2012 issue of Everyday Food.
I like the Chike Iced Coffee. It has spurred a new Iced Coffee obsession. The coffee habit hadn't firmly taken hold. I can no longer claim such a thing. I sampled the protein bars over the course of the following week. They fueled by 5:30am workouts quite effectively.
The only thing that remains of the box is the Everyday Food issue and a few Yogurt Almonds. Those I've been savoring for WEEKS now. Mac told me they were a favorite and I complete understand why!
Mac, Thank you so much! This was a great first package I look forward to an introduction to even more new things int he coming months. To check out other Foodie Pen Pal packages, check out the reveal post over at The Lean Green Been.
This month marked my first in the Foodie Pen Pals. Upon finding The Lean Green Bean about two months ago, I've been visiting daily to catch inspiring exercises and creative recipes. It's a new love. One of the programs she runs is Foodie Pen Pals where you are paired with another foodie to share local, ethnic, homemade or simply awesome food items.
Given that I'm always game to try new foods, I signed up for this program the first day I heard about it. I was so excited to come up with a box, but also to see what my partner could come up with for me! Shortly after the matches were revealed, Mac over at Wealth is Health emailed me to get my information and I eagerly awaited my first package.
As it turns out I didn't have long to wait. Arriving home after mailing off my pen pal's package, there was a box waiting on my door step. Here in MD over the past month our temperatures have been nuclear, so I immediately whisked it inside and hoped for the best. I think I waited all of 15 seconds to open the box. I debated waiting. The anticipation was too great. Here's what I found:
My initial fears were confirmed. The contents were HOT! Thankfully, the only thing heat sensitive was the Yogurt Almonds and 30 minutes in the fridge righted that situation. Even melty they were delicious. My other goodies in consumptions order Chike Iced Coffee, Larabar Uber Cherry Cobbler, Good N Natural Chocolate and Beanut Butter Bars and the June 2012 issue of Everyday Food.
I like the Chike Iced Coffee. It has spurred a new Iced Coffee obsession. The coffee habit hadn't firmly taken hold. I can no longer claim such a thing. I sampled the protein bars over the course of the following week. They fueled by 5:30am workouts quite effectively.
The only thing that remains of the box is the Everyday Food issue and a few Yogurt Almonds. Those I've been savoring for WEEKS now. Mac told me they were a favorite and I complete understand why!
Mac, Thank you so much! This was a great first package I look forward to an introduction to even more new things int he coming months. To check out other Foodie Pen Pal packages, check out the reveal post over at The Lean Green Been.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
CSA 2012
Five weeks ago we entered Maryland's CSA season. Our farm this year is One Straw Farm out in White Hall, MD. Until this week, I haven't managed to capture a single photo of our share. Reason? I was so overwhelmed with greens that I couldn't think. Must less photograph. If' you've joined a CSA in Maryland, possibly anywhere, the first month consists of:
Starting in the top left we have:
Except for the cabbage. I never know quite what to do with all this cabbage. Maybe I'll try making sauerkraut. I've never had purple sauerkraut. It could be fun!
- lettuce (romaine, red leaf, green leaf, mizuno, arugula, spinach)
- radishes (pink, purple, white)
- kale (regular and italian)
- chard (swiss and rainbow)
- other greens (beet, turnip, collard)
- cabbage
 |
| Glorious! |
- potates
- red cabbage
- beets (I think - they are sort of pink for beets)
- lettuce (I don't know the variety - when you break the leaves off they bleed milky white - very strange)
- scallions (I would call them green onions, but they are red)
- garlic
- yellow squash
- peas
- purple cauliflower
Except for the cabbage. I never know quite what to do with all this cabbage. Maybe I'll try making sauerkraut. I've never had purple sauerkraut. It could be fun!
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