Friday, November 2, 2012
Last year passed and I never managed to write you a letter. You were still so small and I didn't know you all that well yet. I couldn't figure out what to say. What I wanted to you know about this time in your life. Or about this time in mine.
We've both grown up a lot this year. Being in my 30s when you were born implies that I'd already done my growing up, but you'll come to learn that growing up can happen any time, any place. It can take you by surprise. Until you came along, I'm not sure I knew I had more growing up to do.
Bringing you into this world involved a leap of faith for me. Faith in myself I didn't have before. I took control of my health and owned it for the first time in my life. Since then I've continued to grow stronger and more confident. As I watch you explore the world, I push harder to keep up, to be ready. Someday you are going to venture beyond my reach, but I want to support you with years of adventures before that day comes.
Singing and dancing occupy a large portion of your day. Even before you learned to shape the words, you would babble along in tune to whatever you heard. And now that the words come more easily, I'm often serenaded by Twinkle Twinkle or Frere Jacques. Music seems to light you up and it's a joy to see.
You are also cuddle monster, giving amazing hugs with your whole body. I love being greeted at pickup time by a smiling little girl, arms wide welcoming me home from work. Then you wrap me up, head on my shoulder, hands patting my shoulders. The whole world slides away and I'm left feeling content and cherished. I pray you feel that same love pouring out of me.
This year you've taken the Lego obsession in our house and made it your own. Where we once built houses, you are making castles. You build block towers as high as you can reach and then go to find a stool to you can make it even higher. Once your masterpiece is complete, I love to hear your giggles as you tear it all down to start again another day. When you're not building towers, you're taking care of your babies. Feeding them, putting them to sleep, taking them on adventures around the living room. It's seldom you aren't seen with a friend long for the fun.
While you are tucking in your dolls and building towers, I'm watching - hoping to learn and nurture what excites you in this world. You mimic so closely everything your big sister does, I struggle to remember that you are your own person who has a unique future in front of you. Please keep reminding me of that as you grow. Don't ever let me send you down a path simply because your sister's feet carried her that way.
The coming year will bring many challenges, but I hope with you I can remember that every challenge is one more adventure we get to have together. I plan to continue growing as I know that you will. I love where we've been together so far. Thank you for taking me along for the ride.