I haven't been at work for 4 days. Torrential rains. Flooding. Falling trees. Power outages. Hurricane Sandy walloped the East coast.
Thankfully I watched most of it on TV from the warm comfort of my living room. I can't say I've ever been so grateful to have a storm rage around me and leave me nothing more than a little wet.
With Ray taking over the menu prep, my load has lightened. Versus feeling a weight grow day after day on my shoulders, I started making progress. The road was long, but I felt I could walk it again. That hopefulness was something I hadn't felt in a long time. What a beautiful feeling!
As Sandy closed down the East Coast for the past two days, I relaxed. Work allowed employees to take off time to made up over the next few months - no precious leave needed. A windfall of time fed the hopefulness and the result was gloriously relaxing.
For the first time in months, I had unplanned time. Time to use however I saw fit. Time to gain a foothold in the chaos. All the things I could plan to do...
The first of which was to sleep in Monday morning. I slept. And slept. And slept. Until 8:30 am!!! Many might think this a insignificant feat. But those people are not the parents of toddler morning birds. I was so happy to sleep.
Upon waking Monday morning, I considered listing all the things I wanted to get done. I could build a nice long list and check things off one by one. It would be so satisfying. But that isn't what I did. I didn't plan at all. I just lived in my space. As a task popped up, I worked on it. Or I didn't. I dedicated myself to no task taking more than an hour. ROWE - Results Only Work Environment. I could have to go back to my real job at any moment. All that mattered was the state I left behind. Start nothing that can't be completed.
My first urge was to prepare for the hurricane. A little shopping. Extra water in the fridge. Candles out. Matches located. Laundry dried. Portable electronics charged. Bigger electronics shutdown. Children bathed. Sweaters donned.
Feeling as in control of my fate as I could in the middle of a hurricane I began to search my house for the other items which were bothering me.
Boxes of recently acquired hand-me-downs - organized into sortable stacks.
My girls' puzzles and board games - organized onto a repurposed shleving unit in the closet.
Piles of thoroughly loved bath toys - sorted and separated into keep and toss.
Stack of dropped items inside the kitchen door - escorted to their respective homes.
Mountain of craft supplies supporting past projects - organized back into the craft boxes.
Monday became Tuesday and I kept gliding through the house. Puttering. Finding an object out of place, returning it to its home. We moved some furniture. Divested of more unsold items from our yard sale. Planned to ridding our house of more things kept past their usefulness.
Tomorrow I return to work. I can't say that I'm done, but I don't ever really want to be done. I just want to feel at peace in my own space. For the first time in quite a long time, I think I've achieved that. Now I just have to work on keeping the peace. :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
When something's got to give
This fall has been full of lessons for me. Lessons about maintaining my health. Lessons on making time for relaxation. Lessons concerning how fast my children are growing. The latest lesson I have yet to conquer is how to recognize, and subsequently respect, my own limits.
But I'm trying.
My baby sister got married this weekend. The day after her wedding Bean turned 4. Two weeks from now MY baby Inchie turns 2. Given the craziness of the month, I combined their birthday celebrations into one happy party. I took that as proof that I was finally getting the hang of not overextending myself. Maybe I was learning my lesson.
Regrettably one less party didn't seem to lessen the load. At we entered into wedding weekend, I felt out of control. Work had been accomplished that week through force of will. There was nothing organic or sustaining about the energy used. I have a plaque in my office which reads "You will because you can." It's meant to be empowering I think, but I've started reading it as a warning. I can do a lot of things but maybe I shouldn't do them all at once.
I wasn't keeping up. My head was full of unfinished tasks. So I made a list. Better out than in.
I still wasn't accounting for all the things I need to do on a weekly basis. They weren't on the list. And I grew more and more discouraged and frustrated. My head filled back up again and I pretty much threw in the towel. I selected our clothes for the weekend from the dirty piles in my laundry room and washed them all at once. They came out of the dryer, into the suitcase and we departed for the wedding. I do not like living that way. Whatever feeling exists beyond overwhelmed is where I was at. And it started to show.
After numerous heated exchanges, I finally got to the heart of the matter with my husband. I needed to divest of something. Ignoring the list to start with we decided that my primary household responsibilities were Finances, Scheduling, Food and Clothing. My husband took care of Dishes, Trash, House Upkeep and Yard Work.
Strangely enough, my husband was extremely hesitant to take over any of my responsibilities. My trend is to control everything to meet my expectations. It keeps life stable. It also keeps me very very busy; I'm learning - too busy. Trying to take a task from me is possibly like trying to cook a nice meal for a gourmet chef. It's just not fair.
But it was necessary. As of this week, Food is no longer mainly my responsibility. I still cook dinner in the evening because I'm the first one home. My husband is in charge of menu planning, grocery shopping, packing lunches and nightly dinner prep. I cook what he tells me to cook and make requests.
I haven't driven him to quit yet. I hope I don't. When we finally agreed on what our new delineation of duties was I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. When I turned the cleaning of my house over to professionals, it took me about 3 months to stop being stressed about it. Hopefully I learned my lessons during that divesting.
We are three days in.
But I'm trying.
My baby sister got married this weekend. The day after her wedding Bean turned 4. Two weeks from now MY baby Inchie turns 2. Given the craziness of the month, I combined their birthday celebrations into one happy party. I took that as proof that I was finally getting the hang of not overextending myself. Maybe I was learning my lesson.
Regrettably one less party didn't seem to lessen the load. At we entered into wedding weekend, I felt out of control. Work had been accomplished that week through force of will. There was nothing organic or sustaining about the energy used. I have a plaque in my office which reads "You will because you can." It's meant to be empowering I think, but I've started reading it as a warning. I can do a lot of things but maybe I shouldn't do them all at once.
I wasn't keeping up. My head was full of unfinished tasks. So I made a list. Better out than in.
- Make Dinner
- Set tomorrow's clothes
- Pack Lunches
- Pack Snack (M,W)
- Prep Dinner for tomorrow
- Fold laundry and Put away clean clothes
- Gather up dirty clothes and Swap loads
- Sort mail
- Wipe off table
- Pick up living room
- Pack gym bag for the morning
I still wasn't accounting for all the things I need to do on a weekly basis. They weren't on the list. And I grew more and more discouraged and frustrated. My head filled back up again and I pretty much threw in the towel. I selected our clothes for the weekend from the dirty piles in my laundry room and washed them all at once. They came out of the dryer, into the suitcase and we departed for the wedding. I do not like living that way. Whatever feeling exists beyond overwhelmed is where I was at. And it started to show.
After numerous heated exchanges, I finally got to the heart of the matter with my husband. I needed to divest of something. Ignoring the list to start with we decided that my primary household responsibilities were Finances, Scheduling, Food and Clothing. My husband took care of Dishes, Trash, House Upkeep and Yard Work.
Strangely enough, my husband was extremely hesitant to take over any of my responsibilities. My trend is to control everything to meet my expectations. It keeps life stable. It also keeps me very very busy; I'm learning - too busy. Trying to take a task from me is possibly like trying to cook a nice meal for a gourmet chef. It's just not fair.
But it was necessary. As of this week, Food is no longer mainly my responsibility. I still cook dinner in the evening because I'm the first one home. My husband is in charge of menu planning, grocery shopping, packing lunches and nightly dinner prep. I cook what he tells me to cook and make requests.
I haven't driven him to quit yet. I hope I don't. When we finally agreed on what our new delineation of duties was I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. When I turned the cleaning of my house over to professionals, it took me about 3 months to stop being stressed about it. Hopefully I learned my lessons during that divesting.
We are three days in.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Foodie Pen Pals: Tasty Treats
Today is Foodie Pen Pal Reveal Day!!!
Second month in and I love this program. That said, this will be the last month I participate for a while, but more on that later.
This month, my name was selected by Lori. She sent me a lovely box arriving just as expected. Here's my box. It was covered in pretty pink tissue with a very pretty card welcoming me to my box of goodies.
Inside I found two blueberry donuts, a jar of blueberry jam, whiskey stix, quinoa pasta, and dried kiwi. I'm still working my way through the whiskey stix (swet and salty - my favorite!) and dried kiwi. The blueberry jam and pasta have yet to be utilized, but I'm looking forward to both of them. Yummy things I haven't tried before.
The donuts on the other hand didn't make it more than 2 minutes in my house. Everyone had a little and they were sooo good! I loved them! There was a bit of gooiness, but they were quite tasty and everyone loved them.
Another month and another awesome Foodie Pen Pal box. If you are considering joining in, please don't hesitate. It's so much fun to get a surprise in the mail!
As for me, I'm out for the rest of the year. If I love it so much why am I backing out? Well, September is our vacation month being I might not be here to receive my box. October, we have a wedding and birthdays. And you know what happens in November and December. Given my time constraints I want to be sure the other penpals get someone who can definitely deliver. I'm not so sure that I'll be able to.
But thank you Lindsey. I've loved participating in this program. And hopefully I'll be able to join in again in the new year!
Second month in and I love this program. That said, this will be the last month I participate for a while, but more on that later.
This month, my name was selected by Lori. She sent me a lovely box arriving just as expected. Here's my box. It was covered in pretty pink tissue with a very pretty card welcoming me to my box of goodies.
Inside I found two blueberry donuts, a jar of blueberry jam, whiskey stix, quinoa pasta, and dried kiwi. I'm still working my way through the whiskey stix (swet and salty - my favorite!) and dried kiwi. The blueberry jam and pasta have yet to be utilized, but I'm looking forward to both of them. Yummy things I haven't tried before.
The donuts on the other hand didn't make it more than 2 minutes in my house. Everyone had a little and they were sooo good! I loved them! There was a bit of gooiness, but they were quite tasty and everyone loved them.
Another month and another awesome Foodie Pen Pal box. If you are considering joining in, please don't hesitate. It's so much fun to get a surprise in the mail!
As for me, I'm out for the rest of the year. If I love it so much why am I backing out? Well, September is our vacation month being I might not be here to receive my box. October, we have a wedding and birthdays. And you know what happens in November and December. Given my time constraints I want to be sure the other penpals get someone who can definitely deliver. I'm not so sure that I'll be able to.
But thank you Lindsey. I've loved participating in this program. And hopefully I'll be able to join in again in the new year!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Foodie Pen Pals: Inauguration
Today is Foodie Pen Pal Reveal Day!!!
This month marked my first in the Foodie Pen Pals. Upon finding The Lean Green Bean about two months ago, I've been visiting daily to catch inspiring exercises and creative recipes. It's a new love. One of the programs she runs is Foodie Pen Pals where you are paired with another foodie to share local, ethnic, homemade or simply awesome food items.
Given that I'm always game to try new foods, I signed up for this program the first day I heard about it. I was so excited to come up with a box, but also to see what my partner could come up with for me! Shortly after the matches were revealed, Mac over at Wealth is Health emailed me to get my information and I eagerly awaited my first package.
As it turns out I didn't have long to wait. Arriving home after mailing off my pen pal's package, there was a box waiting on my door step. Here in MD over the past month our temperatures have been nuclear, so I immediately whisked it inside and hoped for the best. I think I waited all of 15 seconds to open the box. I debated waiting. The anticipation was too great. Here's what I found:
My initial fears were confirmed. The contents were HOT! Thankfully, the only thing heat sensitive was the Yogurt Almonds and 30 minutes in the fridge righted that situation. Even melty they were delicious. My other goodies in consumptions order Chike Iced Coffee, Larabar Uber Cherry Cobbler, Good N Natural Chocolate and Beanut Butter Bars and the June 2012 issue of Everyday Food.
I like the Chike Iced Coffee. It has spurred a new Iced Coffee obsession. The coffee habit hadn't firmly taken hold. I can no longer claim such a thing. I sampled the protein bars over the course of the following week. They fueled by 5:30am workouts quite effectively.
The only thing that remains of the box is the Everyday Food issue and a few Yogurt Almonds. Those I've been savoring for WEEKS now. Mac told me they were a favorite and I complete understand why!
Mac, Thank you so much! This was a great first package I look forward to an introduction to even more new things int he coming months. To check out other Foodie Pen Pal packages, check out the reveal post over at The Lean Green Been.
This month marked my first in the Foodie Pen Pals. Upon finding The Lean Green Bean about two months ago, I've been visiting daily to catch inspiring exercises and creative recipes. It's a new love. One of the programs she runs is Foodie Pen Pals where you are paired with another foodie to share local, ethnic, homemade or simply awesome food items.
Given that I'm always game to try new foods, I signed up for this program the first day I heard about it. I was so excited to come up with a box, but also to see what my partner could come up with for me! Shortly after the matches were revealed, Mac over at Wealth is Health emailed me to get my information and I eagerly awaited my first package.
As it turns out I didn't have long to wait. Arriving home after mailing off my pen pal's package, there was a box waiting on my door step. Here in MD over the past month our temperatures have been nuclear, so I immediately whisked it inside and hoped for the best. I think I waited all of 15 seconds to open the box. I debated waiting. The anticipation was too great. Here's what I found:
My initial fears were confirmed. The contents were HOT! Thankfully, the only thing heat sensitive was the Yogurt Almonds and 30 minutes in the fridge righted that situation. Even melty they were delicious. My other goodies in consumptions order Chike Iced Coffee, Larabar Uber Cherry Cobbler, Good N Natural Chocolate and Beanut Butter Bars and the June 2012 issue of Everyday Food.
I like the Chike Iced Coffee. It has spurred a new Iced Coffee obsession. The coffee habit hadn't firmly taken hold. I can no longer claim such a thing. I sampled the protein bars over the course of the following week. They fueled by 5:30am workouts quite effectively.
The only thing that remains of the box is the Everyday Food issue and a few Yogurt Almonds. Those I've been savoring for WEEKS now. Mac told me they were a favorite and I complete understand why!
Mac, Thank you so much! This was a great first package I look forward to an introduction to even more new things int he coming months. To check out other Foodie Pen Pal packages, check out the reveal post over at The Lean Green Been.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
CSA 2012
Five weeks ago we entered Maryland's CSA season. Our farm this year is One Straw Farm out in White Hall, MD. Until this week, I haven't managed to capture a single photo of our share. Reason? I was so overwhelmed with greens that I couldn't think. Must less photograph. If' you've joined a CSA in Maryland, possibly anywhere, the first month consists of:
Starting in the top left we have:
Except for the cabbage. I never know quite what to do with all this cabbage. Maybe I'll try making sauerkraut. I've never had purple sauerkraut. It could be fun!
- lettuce (romaine, red leaf, green leaf, mizuno, arugula, spinach)
- radishes (pink, purple, white)
- kale (regular and italian)
- chard (swiss and rainbow)
- other greens (beet, turnip, collard)
- cabbage
 |
| Glorious! |
- potates
- red cabbage
- beets (I think - they are sort of pink for beets)
- lettuce (I don't know the variety - when you break the leaves off they bleed milky white - very strange)
- scallions (I would call them green onions, but they are red)
- garlic
- yellow squash
- peas
- purple cauliflower
Except for the cabbage. I never know quite what to do with all this cabbage. Maybe I'll try making sauerkraut. I've never had purple sauerkraut. It could be fun!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
A Quilt for Inchie
A month ago I read a post over at KdBuggie Boutique on how to make a simple baby quilt. Since then I've been obsessed with making Inchie a quilt. As my second born she misses so many of my firsts. She got the second baby blanket. Most of her clothes, even the home-made ones, are hand-me-downs. Her nursery was decorated for her sister first. I determined that I wanted this little girl to have a first. Turns out I'm going to attempt to give her my first quilt.
I started out wanting to duplicate the design in the blog post. But then I started looking at quilt designs and a fell in love with all the colors and options out there. Before long I had a pin board full of ideas.
Much contemplation lead me to decide on a charm pack quilt. In order to give Inchie my first quilt, I have to start and complete my first quilt. I like the idea of having the materials already coordinated and cut for me. Using a charm pack takes care of that.
Looking at a lot of charm packs, I found one that simply screamed Inchie to me. The Twirl line by Me & My Sister Designs jumped out at me over and over. I kept pinning and nothing spoke to me like the flowers in the pack. Perfectly happy and crisp.
Last week, I finally determined the time had come to place my order. I wasn't going to find anything I liked better. I decided on with little orange flowers for the backing and orange dots for the binding. Today they came in the mail. I could barely wait to get Inchie to bed before pulling open my package. What I found inside made me so happy. I promised myself I would not start officially start this project until August, but looking at those colors... How am I going to be able to restrain myself??!?!?!?
 | |
| Look at this face! |
Much contemplation lead me to decide on a charm pack quilt. In order to give Inchie my first quilt, I have to start and complete my first quilt. I like the idea of having the materials already coordinated and cut for me. Using a charm pack takes care of that.
Looking at a lot of charm packs, I found one that simply screamed Inchie to me. The Twirl line by Me & My Sister Designs jumped out at me over and over. I kept pinning and nothing spoke to me like the flowers in the pack. Perfectly happy and crisp.
Last week, I finally determined the time had come to place my order. I wasn't going to find anything I liked better. I decided on with little orange flowers for the backing and orange dots for the binding. Today they came in the mail. I could barely wait to get Inchie to bed before pulling open my package. What I found inside made me so happy. I promised myself I would not start officially start this project until August, but looking at those colors... How am I going to be able to restrain myself??!?!?!?
 |
| Just right. |
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