Foodie Pen Pals: Inauguration

Today is Foodie Pen Pal Reveal Day!!!

This month marked my first in the Foodie Pen Pals.  Upon finding The Lean Green Bean about two months ago, I've been visiting daily to catch inspiring exercises and creative recipes.  It's a new love.  One of the programs she runs is Foodie Pen Pals where you are paired with another foodie to share local, ethnic, homemade or simply awesome food items.

Given that I'm always game to try new foods, I signed up for this program the first day I heard about it.  I was so excited to come up with a box, but also to see what my partner could come up with for me!  Shortly after the matches were revealed, Mac over at Wealth is Health emailed me to get my information and I eagerly awaited my first package.

As it turns out I didn't have long to wait.  Arriving home after mailing off my pen pal's package, there was a box waiting on my door step.  Here in MD over the past month our temperatures have been nuclear, so I immediately whisked it inside and hoped for the best.  I think I waited all of 15 seconds to open the box.  I debated waiting.  The anticipation was too great.  Here's what I found:

My initial fears were confirmed.  The contents were HOT!  Thankfully, the only thing heat sensitive was the Yogurt Almonds and 30 minutes in the fridge righted that situation.  Even melty they were delicious.  My other goodies in consumptions order Chike Iced Coffee, Larabar Uber Cherry Cobbler, Good N Natural Chocolate and Beanut Butter Bars and the June 2012 issue of Everyday Food.

I like the Chike Iced Coffee.  It has spurred a new Iced Coffee obsession.  The coffee habit hadn't firmly taken hold.  I can no longer claim such a thing.  I sampled the protein bars over the course of the following week.  They fueled by 5:30am workouts quite effectively.

The only thing that remains of the box is the Everyday Food issue and a few Yogurt Almonds.  Those I've been savoring for WEEKS now.  Mac told me they were a favorite and I complete understand why!

Mac, Thank you so much!  This was a great first package  I look forward to an introduction to even more new things int he coming months.  To check out other Foodie Pen Pal packages, check out the reveal post over at The Lean Green Been.

CSA 2012

Five weeks ago we entered Maryland's CSA season.  Our farm this year is One Straw Farm out in White Hall, MD.  Until this week, I haven't managed to capture a single photo of our share.  Reason?  I was so overwhelmed with greens that I couldn't think.  Must less photograph.  If' you've joined a CSA in Maryland, possibly anywhere, the first month consists of:

• lettuce (romaine, red leaf, green leaf, mizuno, arugula, spinach)
• radishes (pink, purple, white)
• kale (regular and italian)
• chard (swiss and rainbow)
• other greens (beet, turnip, collard)
• cabbage

There were a few other items in there, but the sheer volume of fiberous leafy vegetables needing to be used up in my house was staggering!!!  All good but so very very much.  By week 3 I was using more than I was tossing.  Week 4 I found that I was able to use up all the items (except one head of cabbage which is being saved for golumpkis) before Week 5 veggies walked in the door.  Armed with greens recipes, this is what I found:

Glorious!

 Starting in the top left we have:

• potates
• red cabbage
• beets (I think - they are sort of pink for beets)
• lettuce (I don't know the variety - when you break the leaves off they bleed milky white - very strange)
• scallions (I would call them green onions, but they are red)
• garlic
• yellow squash
• peas
• purple cauliflower

I'm excited.  There are lots of options this week.   The lettuce, peas, cauliflower and squash need to be used first.  They seem to head south quickly.  The bet green also go on that list and I like to eat them when they are as pretty as these ones.  Everything else will hold for a bit, but I don't think it is going to need to.

Except for the cabbage.  I never know quite what to do with all this cabbage.  Maybe I'll try making sauerkraut.  I've never had purple sauerkraut.  It could be fun!

Wordless Wednesdays

A Quilt for Inchie

A month ago I read a post over at KdBuggie Boutique on how to make a simple baby quilt.  Since then I've been obsessed with making Inchie a quilt.  As my second born she misses so many of my firsts.  She got the second baby blanket.  Most of her clothes, even the home-made ones, are hand-me-downs.  Her nursery was decorated for her sister first.  I determined that I wanted this little girl to have a first.  Turns out I'm going to attempt to give her my first quilt.

Look at this face!

I started out wanting to duplicate the design in the blog post.  But then I started looking at quilt designs and a fell in love with all the colors and options out there.  Before long I had a pin board full of ideas.

Much contemplation lead me to decide on a charm pack quilt.  In order to give Inchie my first quilt, I have to start and complete my first quilt.  I like the idea of having the materials already coordinated and cut for me.  Using a charm pack takes care of that.

Looking at a lot of charm packs, I found one that simply screamed Inchie to me.  The Twirl line by Me & My Sister Designs jumped out at me over and over.  I kept pinning and nothing spoke to me like the flowers in the pack.  Perfectly happy and crisp.

Last week, I finally determined the time had come to place my order.  I wasn't going to find anything I liked better.  I decided on with little orange flowers for the backing and orange dots for the binding.  Today they came in the mail.  I could barely wait to get Inchie to bed before pulling open my package.  What I found inside made me so happy.  I promised myself I would not start officially start this project until August, but looking at those colors...  How am I going to be able to restrain myself??!?!?!?

Just right.

Busy Busy BUSY

I'm coming off a deadline at work.  Yeah for transitions!

I did a service project with some women from my church.  We made 6 DOZEN dresses for children in Haiti.  It was an awesome experience.

I'm doing this whole get healthy thing.  It's working out well.

My girls got sick.  Real sick by our standards.  They managed to do it at the same time which was very courteous of them.  Recovery is happening and I look forward to achieving our normal by the end of the week.

Last week I finished up a seminar on dealing with clutter in a kinder and more soulful way.  I've got a lot of food for thought and, I think, some coping mechanisms.

Inspiration struck and I've begun researching how to make a quilt for Inchie and imagining what it might look like.  As my second born she gets so few of my firsts.  I want this one to be just for her.

And I want to write about all of it, but I haven't.  Life is wonderful and complicated and full to the brim these days.  I oscillate between reacting and interacting.  I need to interact a little more.  I enjoy the moments I spend hands-on doing projects and shaping my day.  Maybe that is why I've gotten so much more engaged with my sewing.  I've also been planning my days a bit more before they happen.  No plan is 100%, but I like operating with a plan better than in one's absence.

This morning when I sat and read a mom's post about transitioning from working to staying at home with her kids, I paused.  Would I want to stay at home?  Yes.  I could do so much if nine hours of each day did not belong to the company for which I work.  Sewing.  Crafting.  Reading.  Volunteer Work.  Writing.  I would never be idle.  Would I want to care for my children full-time?  Hrm.  I love my girls.  But I'm not sure I want to be home with them everyday.  Someday I hope I can form a different relationship with my work and my time.  But I'm happy with my relationship with my kids and the balance we've achieved there.

Do you take time on busy days to day dream about other ways?

I am Mom Enough

My three year old doesn't like to go to bed.  I've had an exceptionally hard time dealing with this.  I work hard to keep our lives running smoothly.  Having a little strong-headed Bean making a wreak out of my schedule on a daily...  sometimes hourly... basis...  *sigh*  I don't always handle it well.  It's humbling and frustrating and embarrassing.

It all started when Bean was about to turn two.  I was 8 months pregnant with Inchie and needed to clear out the Nursery.  Ray and I made a beautiful room for our little girl.  She got new paint and original artwork.  Her great granddad's bed was reconditioned.  I even found my old Mickey Mouse lamp to watch over her at night.  Anything to make up for all the change we were heaping on her life.

The first night in her new room, she climbed on her mattress and slept peacefully.  She was proud to be sleeping in her big girl bed.  She loved the new special space we'd made for her.  We'd succeeded.

That night marked the last peaceful night sleep she got for months.  At first I thought it was a phase.  I could wait it out.  But as the nights passed I grew weary.  Putting a 30 pound child back in bed 30 times a night was wearing on my already over-extended (literally) body.  I began to search for answers.  I read books.  I sat with my husband in the dark devising strategies.  I emailed friends begging to know how they did it.  I called my mom.  I prayed.  I began to doubt every choice I'd ever made as a mother.  Few solutions were offered and those that were sounded like criticisms.

Four weeks went by like this.  Inchie was days away from being welcomed into the work.  I was exhausted.  I second guessed every action I took.  I criticized my husband's actions.  My world was coming apart at the seams.  Something had to change.  With tears in my eyes and a heavy heart, I gave up.  We borrowed a second crib to set up in Bean's new room.  I had to do what was best for me and my family.  In one month, we had gone from happy-loving-laughing to sullen-sniping-yelling.  I felt as thought I failed my little girl.  I'd told her the wonders of being a big girl and then I'd demoted her to a cage when I couldn't handle it.

The crib stayed in her room for four months.  They were not peaceful months.  Bean still fought bed time and fought the cage we called a crib.  The damage had been done.  That crib bought us enough time to welcome Inchie into the world and get her sleeping through the night.  I settled back into work.  Life began to resemble something I could handle.  Then Bean climbed out of the crib.  It had outlived its usefulness.

Nothing helped me deal with this reality.   No book or piece of advice or blog post or restraint system showed me the magical formula to get my girl to sleep at night.  To this day I don't know how we manage it.  But we do manage it.  More often than not she sleeps.  Quite often we don't.  But over the past year and a half I have gained something.

There is a peace inside me I didn't have when this all started.  An assurance that I will grow and stretch myself to any length to raise these girls.  I will take risks and make awful decisions along the road all in hopes of raising these girls in a safe, loving, healthy environment.  I will reevaluate and modify my beliefs if necessary.  I will not give up on them.  I must not give up on me.  There exists no woman in any world who loves my girls to the extent that I do.  I am the first and best mother they will ever have.  I am Mom Enough.

***

This post was inspired by the reactions I've read to the cover of this week's TIME magazine.  A mother stands on the cover breastfeeding her 3 year old son in a non-conventional pose.  The title is "Are you Mom enough?"  My reaction, like so many others, to those 4 words is visceral.  There are as many ways to parent as there are children being parented.  I share my story to illustrate one daily struggle which defines me as a mother.  With experience, I am Mom Enough to answer that question without doubt.  However, there are moms out there whose hearts and minds are filled with doubt.  This Mother's Day we need to appreciate them for all that they do.  And support them however they choose to accomplish it.

Wordless Wednesdays